Nonstop Tabletop Presents: Ten MORE People Who Ruin Game Night
Just when you thought you had seen it all, Confused Carl shows up at your game night with a new game and a poor understanding of the rules. Take a deep breath (or don’t if you are seated next to BO Brad), grip the dice tight, and hang on for Ten MORE People Who Ruin Game Night.
Over Analytical Oliver
Oliver is frozen. Oliver cannot make a decision. Oliver is thinking 12 steps ahead for 14 possible moves. Minutes creep by. His brow furrowed, Oliver continues to think. For the love of Cthulhu, make a decision Oliver! You might call this problem “analysis paralysis”, and we all have moments like this around the gaming table, but Oliver takes it to a new level. Come on, Oliver, make a decision already! The rest of us are bored. I have to admit Oliver drives me especially crazy as I am quite the opposite. Often to my own detriment, I tend to make quick decisions. I should try to be more forgiving to Oliver. Maybe I am just mad because he is beating me.
Becky is Alpha. Becky is in charge. Becky will tell you what to do and when to do it. Becky takes it too far. She sets all the house rules and refuses to take input. She tells you what games to play and what moves to make. Prepare to be berated and overrun if you are on a team with Becky. She knows best. Worst of all, playing a cooperative game with Becky is pretty much just watching her play solo. Yawn.
Whatever you do, do not believe Clive when he tells you he knows the rules to the new game he brought. Why? Because Clive is confused. Clive has a knack for misinterpreting a rule, or leaving out a rule entirely while explaining the game. Yes, some games require some time and practice to learn, but do not trust Clive! He will steer you the wrong way. Author’s Note: Full disclosure, this is so me. I once again make the following plea to my gamer friends, “I’m sorry! I will try to stop skimming when I read the rules. If I was texting I would insert embarrassed emoji here.”
Freddy is dangerous. Freddy wants to win. Freddy will take you down in any game which requires fast movement. DO NOT play Jungle Speed or Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza with this man if you value your appendages. Freddy probably even sharpened his nails before heading out to game night. And watch out if Freddy gets too mad. He might turn into his angry brother, Table-Flipping Frank.
What is that smell? Oh, Brad is here. Unfortunately for the rest of us, Brad needs a shower. Stat. I am eternally grateful my gamer friends seem to understand the finer points of hygiene, but I have heard the horror stories. If you know a Brad, let me know and we will invite you over.
Our groups tends to allow a one-time “new-to-this-game” do-over. Newbies make mistakes and we are not super competitive. (Correction: Some of us are super competitive, but we are too nice to break our friend’s fingers). Donna, however, needs a do-over all the time. Donna can hardly go a turn without changing her mind and asking to change something. Suck it up, Donna! You’re done!
Game night starts at 7:00 p.m. It is now 7:15 and Tara is nowhere to be found. Someone suggests a quick filler game. You play the filler game, and yet still no Tara. You finally decide to settle into a long game. You get the game setup, everyone takes a turn and now Tara waltzes in ready to play. Do you quit the game you just started or make Tara wait? She will probably pout if you make her wait. Bonus points to Tara if you were a group of four playing a four player game when she arrived. Ugh.
Spatting Sarah and Sam
Is spatting even a word? Heck, if it isn’t, it still describes what Sam and Sarah are always up to. They are the couple who brings their spats to game night. Sam is mad because Sarah ignored his mother’s call. Sarah is mad because Sam did not take out the trash. Whatever it is, it comes to game night with them. They glare, snap, and roll their eyes at each other, not realizing (or caring) how awkward this is for everyone else. Often, their arguments leak into the game. They spit nasty comments across the table and make everyone else wish they had a stronger drink.
The Guy Who Shows Up With Diplomacy
They don’t call this one “The Friendship Killer” for nothing. In actuality, though, I have to admit I have not played this one. It sits on my shelf of shame. I am not scared to ruin my friendships. Really, we just have not found the time! I promise.
This is you if you take this article too seriously. If someone is ruining your game night, have polite, direct conversation with them. Games are supposed to be fun.
What is your game night pet peeve? Let us know in the comments below. While you're at it, check out our original feature on The Ten People Who Ruin Game Night.
Article by Fifi. Don't annoy Fifi or she might make you disappear.